


Let Me Love You

by lostgirl966



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, FitzSimmons - Freeform, after the framework, mention of suicide, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-21 00:12:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10673658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostgirl966/pseuds/lostgirl966
Summary: Fitz and Jemma have a hard time adjusting after the framework





	Let Me Love You

Jemma lay wide-awake in bed starring up at the dark ceiling. This night made a month since she and Fitz had returned from the framework. She turned to look at the empty spot next to her. Fitz had insisted on sleeping on the couch. He wouldn’t tell her why.

She was sure that he felt incredible weight from the tragedies that happened in the framework. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get him to open up. Every morning Jemma would wake up and find him gone from the couch. Then every night Fitz returned without saying a word to her. His face was in a constant state of paleness. He never smiled or talked. He was more zombie than human.

Jemma looked out the bedroom door and saw the corner of the couch. She so badly wanted to be sleeping next to Fitz. Then before she knew it, the biochemist stood to her feet and began walking into the living room.

The living room was quiet with a bit of light from the moon coming through the windows. Jemma moved slowly as she approached where Fitz lay sleeping. She turned and stood for a moment just looking down at him.

Even in his sleep Fitz looked distressed and sad. She could see the dark circles under his eyes by the light coming from the moon. His breathing was uneven and ragged. Jemma longed to reach out to him, but knew she shouldn’t. It might wake him and push him further away.

So instead Jemma knelt down and lay down on the carpet. She moved back up against the couch and sighed as she nestled herself into a semi comfortable position. They weren’t touching but at least they were closer than they usually were.

After about an hour there was a moan and rustling. Jemma didn’t open her eyes. She wanted to see what Fitz would do. She felt his strong hands moving under her back and legs as he gathered her into his arms. She opened her eyes and snuggled her face into his neck. She felt him tense at her touch.

He carried her back into the bedroom as her arms locked around his neck. “Please Fitz. Just stay with me.”

He didn’t reply. Instead, he simply lowered Jemma to the bed and then turned to leave. But Jemma grabbed hold of his shirt keeping him from moving away. Tears had begun to form in her eyes. They fell down her cold cheeks freely. “Fitz, why won’t you talk to me? I’m begging you… Say something.”

There was silence. Fitz trembled as he stood with Jemma holding the bottom of his shirt. He then turned to face her, but did not look at her eyes. Instead he starred down at Jemma’s feet.

“I don’t know what to say,” he whispered.

“Would you at least sit with me for a moment?” Jemma was desperate for any sign of hope.

Fitz paused for a moment and then lowered himself to the bed. He didn’t look at her but turned his head away.

Jemma sat up and tried not to sit too close to him. She gulped and licked her lips. “Fitz I know you’re hurting.”

Fitz let out a low sigh. “You have no idea what I feel.”

“You’re right. I don’t,” nodded Jemma. “So help me to.”

More silence filled the room. But after a moment Fitz spoke. “I need to leave.”

“Okay,” replied Jemma. “We could go to see your mom in Scotland if you like.”

“No I mean…” Fitz began to shake harder. “I need to leave alone.”

Jemma’s heart sank through the floor. She turned away from him and starred down at her hands. “Why?” Jemma asked in a voice that sounded like a croak.

“As long as I’m around no one’s safe. Everyday I’ve been finding places I could go and hide myself away. I’ve thought about killing myself even…” Here he paused, and glanced at Jemma who didn’t reply.

Jemma tears were becoming more prominent. She wiped them away as best as she could. What should she say? How should someone respond when the person they love most in the world says that they’ve thought about killing themselves? “I’m not sure being alone would be the best idea,” she choked out.

“I thought you might say that,” replied Fitz. “But I’ve thought about this a lot Jemma. There’s too much darkness in me. And I’m not sure I can live with what I’ve done.”

Jemma finally looked up and met Fitz’s blue eyes. He was crying like she was. “I’m sorry Fitz. But I’m afraid I just can’t let you do that. I can’t live in a world that doesn’t have you in it. I can’t live without my best friend by my side.”

“You’ll be alright,” Fitz sniffed. “Jemma you’re so strong and you’ve been through so much.”

But Jemma hastily shook her head. “Stop pushing me away and just let me love you.”

Fitz’s bottom lip trembled and he began to sob. “I’m not worthy of your love.”

Jemma moved forward and wrapped her arms around his hunched form. Both cried together as the night moved on. Finally, the two lay down on the bed molding to the other’s form. Jemma lay behind Fitz and wrapped her arms gently around his waist. Neither stopped crying.

Jemma opened her mouth slightly and whispered into Fitz’s ear. “Please don’t leave me. Will you let me help you my dear Fitz?”

She felt him nod and begin to tremble harder. This caused Jemma to make her grip around him even firmer. “I’ve got you,” she breathed. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Morning came and Jemma awoke with a smile. Fitz was still in the bed beside her. He was looking across the pillows at her as was playing with her hair like he used to do. “Good morning,” she said.

“Morning,” replied Fitz. His face still looked somber but there was a slight smile on his lips. “I’m sorry,” he whispered focusing at his fingers that were lost in Jemma’s hair.

“Don’t be sorry. You’ve already said that too much.”

He nodded without speaking. Then his beautiful crystal blue eyes connected with her brown ones like they had last night. “I love you.” He said those words as if he was asking permission. He wanted permission to love her.

Jemma grinned and leaned across to kiss his sweaty forehead. “I love you too. Now, no more being on your own. From now on we spend more time together. Deal?”

“Deal. But this may take years,” he warned her. “I can’t make any promises.”

Jemma scoffed and smiled at the man she loved. “Leopold James Fitz I plan on being with you for the rest of my life. We’ve got time.”


End file.
